This City by the Bay: An evening in Amsterdam/How to be embarressingly Drunk

Earlier in the day we had heard that the Dutch national team was playing that evening in the Eurocup so we had decided that we had to go to a bar to watch it. That meant for dinner we had to grab something quick. We went with the guy we were staying with, John, to a chain called Wok to Walk and each ordered a stir fry. After dinner we parted ways and Abby and I headed to a bar called The Old Sailor which featured a lot of Popeye memorabilia in the red light district.

Unfortunately Holland lost and that was the end of the Eurocup for them. We stuck around the bar for a few hours more as there was plenty of entertainment with the various characters in the bar.

Character 1 and 2: Two drunk “natives who know EVERYONE in Amsterdam” that the bartender was feeding random drinks to. These women were trashed/hammered/wasted/shitfaced – all are necessary to describe their level of drunk.

They went from kissing the bartender to character 1 telling character 2 she was going to punch character 2 in five minutes, to only seconds later professing her love to character 2. Character 1 then turned to Abby and I and started telling us how hot character 2 is especially for her age – which was 60 apparently, as character one sloppily professed to us many times. If Character 2 was actually 60, that would have to make me 40.

Eventually they tried to leave the bar. Tried is the operative word here.

On attempt number one, character 1 practically crabbed walked a few feet, before Character two and another man pulled her into a chair. Character two checked on her a bit, and then ran to the bartender begging to know WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIEND! WE NEED A TAXI! – We were in the middle of the red light district, where cars are not allowed to traverse.

Attempt number two consisted of Character one wandering over to the door, only to clutch onto the frame for dear life, and again be placed back in a seat. Character two was flirting with some much younger guy and still occasionally yelling at the bartender.

Character one eventually pulled herself out of her seat to go stand with Character two, she seemed fine for a minute or two and then suddenly, without her knees buckling she fell back onto her head like a blank. It reverberated throughout the bar which proceeded to go silent.

I don’t know when they left, or if they ever did, we were gone before them. I do know, from the bartender, that they were American flight attendants who fly through Amsterdam frequently and had a flight the next morning. Here’s to not being on that flight with them.

The other character wasn’t actually in the bar but I will still call her character 3. Character 3 was a prostitute whose window was directly across from the bar’s window. Man was this girl trying to get some customers. Abby and I met some British girls and we all started really rooting for her because the girls in the windows on either side of her were getting a lot of customers, but none for her. We figured she probably charged too much because plenty of people approached her.

Just a few more photos of Amsterdam: